God Damn Weedwhackers (and thank you)

Whoever that asshole is who decided to bust out the leaf blower and weedwhacker and go to town early on a Saturday morning, Fuck you. Fuck you so bad.  I hope your life is so shitty that this is the highlight of your day.  I can’t sleep, I can’t watch TV and I’m not horny enough to watch porn.  The loud drones and wheezes are the only thing more annoying than my own thoughts.

Thank you all who came to Flappers this Thursday to support live comedy.  It was your enthusiasm that turned what could have so easily become a keepsake or memento by a single mistake, into a wonderful promotional tool. Hopefully I will have the video shortly.  As soon as I do it will be posted here.

Its times like these that bring me back to the real world, back to people.  I am truly blessed for the support of fans and friends such as those that came out to see the show.  I have had to construct my thoughts over and over again until they have made their own virtuosity, and it is wonderful that now other people can enjoy them as well. 

There are times when the world reveals itself in wonderful ways.   Whenever I’m frustrated I look off into the distance and stare at the mountain ranges.  These giants in the foreground always comfort me.  And after getting gas at Costco, I was driving past some commercial buildings and I saw a man and a woman embraced in a kiss.  And the closest way I could describe it is through this picture:

Onward and upward, friends.  There are little tasks to complete, like getting my website together and looking for more gigs.  There are big ridiculous dreams still looming in my mind.  My guilty conscience continues to plague me for not getting farther with my music or writing. But my imagination seems content that I won’t be seeking out a law career. I do love those logic puzzles in the study guides, but I found out they sell those in the supermarket.

I’m taking my brother to Umami Burger as a way of saying thank you for letting me borrow his car when mine was in the shop.  It looks to be a chill Labor Day Weekend, Party On!

Good Morning hooooo hoooooo!!!!!

Hi Everyone, I hope everybody got their smiles ordered for Labor Day  Some people are Christmas people, some dig Halloween, I’m all about Labor Day.  It’s all about BBQ, relaxing and goofing off, three things my Randy Quaid like physique is built for.

There's an open mike at the Guitar Merchant Woodland Hills which is a whole lot of fun. It's my songwriting woodshed.  There’s always an eclectic bunch of characters at these open mikes.  At the last one, there was this 3-400lb dude in a mechanical chair. He performed the funniest song I have heard at an open mike, satirizing the way everyone uses the word “awesome” to describe almost anything these days.  He also works with clay and showed me a book of clay figures he made.  The reason he was overweight was the kind of clay he used turned out to be toxic and shut down his thyroid.   Definitely a character. 

I’ve been handling most of my stand-up comedy at an outdoor open mike in Sherman Oaks called Soapbox Sessions.  Some of you may have seen pictures of it from my facebook feed.  I’ve been preparing for a show @ Flappers, this Thursday, August 30^th.  See here for Details.  A big shout out to Jerry Corley, he's helped me a whole lot to sharpen my material.

I’m also back taking classes at the Groundlings.  The Groundlings are a comedy theater in Los Angeles known for such alumni as Will Ferrell, Jon Lovitz and my personal favorite Wendy Meclendon-lovey.  There are 4 levels before they make a decision on whether or not you are able to perform onstage.  I have finished one of the levels and am currently working on the second.  I’ve already gotten off on the wrong foot, and one teacher has already threatened to punch me in the face if I don’t improve.  That’s …. Just ….Great.  (Sigh)  All I want is to be the modern reincarnation of SCTV, but everyone’s in love with being a badass these days.  I’ve been retail therapying my ass off at Amoeba Records after class, followed by an elaborately greasy hamburger.

Well, I hope all is well.  Thanks for checking in with me.  Big smiles to you.

Piece en Sol,

Ramsey

I Be Done See About Everything, When I See an Elephant Fly...

A couple storefronts from Canter’s Deli is a little comedy theater called Bang!  It’s a usual staple to see theaters like these converted from loosely plastered storefronts. The writers and performers of Los Angeles make do with what’s available. But sometimes, and especially here, there’s magic inside.

Warming up before a show, all the student-performers were taking part in physical exercises.  Everyone was moving around in broad strokes, and touching very tentatively.  We were all strangers to each others for the most part, and everyone was doing their best to hold some semblance of personal space to each other.

I stretched my body out to its full extension while on one foot.  My arms reached towards the door and my uplifted leg raised itself to make as much a horizontal line as possible.  I wasn’t going to hold this position for very long, but I held it for as long as I could.  Just for my own amusement.

All of a sudden, Ezra, a teacher @ Bang, grabbed my leg and started pointing to people to start distributing my weight to lift me up.  They pushed me up in staggered jolts, like a paper boat rocking side to side in the rising tide.  None of the hands felt invasive or uncomfortable.  And my weight must have been evenly distributed because I was up there for close to ten or fifteen minutes.

They walked me around the room in my superman pose.  Other actors who couldn’t hold me were filling out the scenery.  A husband and wife stopped farming to wave hi.  Three or four joined together to become schoolchildren who stopped hopscotch to shout with joy.  This was a town, and I was there.

And after a while, time was running short.  We would be performing soon.  Slowly I was lowered to shoulder level while those beneath my waist and legs gently crept away.  As my feet touched the ground the people holding my chest steadied me.  The last to let go were the hands.  Two hands and then they were away.